There is nothing like a good support system. People who are there for you when you need it most, and alongside you when times are good! On the flip side, a bad support system can really weigh you down emotionally and even physically. Seeing the red flags and making positive moves to get those people out of your inner circle can be SO hard.
Here are 5 Red Flags to look for in your support system:
Someone who motivates you through competition, or knows where the line is, is completely different than someone who wants to beat you at *everything* you do. Someone who is constantly putting you down because they “won” at something that wasn’t really a competition, is not someone you need around! That will totally weigh on you in the long run and isn’t offering you any kind of support.
Some people just drain you… and that is not friendship or support! Really good people build you up, support you, and bring out the best in you. If you are feeling like the only one putting in work on a relationship, or like you are listening to their problems no matter how emotionally drained you are, it might be time to step back. A supportive person listens and makes it easy to listen back.
This goes hand-in-hand with feeling emotionally drained. Some people just want to talk about themselves. How they are doing, why their day was hard, that really cool thing they did last week… without ever asking how you are, or what is new with you. There is give and take in any relationship, but someone who is only concerned with their own life and problems has you as a friend but is not really a friend to you.
There are friends who help push you out of your comfort zone and help you do things that scare you, then there are friends who want you to do things that aren’t good for you. If someone is trying to pressure you into doing something that is a clear “no” for you, they aren’t respecting your boundaries! When someone respects you and what you are comfortable with, they are not going to push you into something you really don’t want to do! They will support you and your decision, trusting that you know what is best for you in that situation.
Let’s be honest… at one point or another, we are all the ones being giggled at. The difference is when it turns to you being the butt of every. Single. joke. Or, making fun of you for no reason and poking at your insecurities. That is someone who cares more about being funny, than lifting you up.